I recently got married. I say recently, but really, it was over three months ago. It still feels recent to me, since my husband has been gone foe almost the entirety of that time. One week. That's all we got together after the wedding. And just between you and me, that week was perfect... But it also completely sucked. I'm going to get graphic for a moment, because (quite frankly), that's the sort of person I am.
I waited until marriage to have sex. I know... How foreign! I must be mega religious, right? Well... While my initial reasoning for wanting to wait was based on a relationship with God, a lot of it had to do with trust... Patience... And the fact that my (now) husband and I started our relationship three weeks before he moved to Guam.
That was almost 2 years ago. He came back around our 6 month mark and proposed. (And we were still getting to know each other at that point.) Then, I didn't see him until A YEAR later. (Apart from nightly skype calls of course.) It was this second visit that we got married. Almost two years together and I have probably seen my husband a total of a month and a half in person. How crazy is that?
Well... Waiting to have sex has a lot of perks. I feel good about it, I'm proud of both of us (yes... He had waited too!), we have come to each other "pure"... But there is one major issue with never having sex until your wedding night...
The FIRST TIME SUCKS!!!!!
You know, you're told to save yourself, so you build it up in your mind... It becomes this big, amazing, wonderful, life-changing event. You see it in movies, the gasping, the clutching, the romantic morning after... Where everyone is beautifully disheveled and rearing to have another go. That was not accurate for us.
Never mind the physical discomfort. We always sort of knew we'd have to deal with something like that. But the awkwardness between us... The expectation that the other would kind of know what they were doing and pick up our slack... It all just added up to a pretty crappy experience for both of us.
It's a terrible pressure we put on sex. Like it's a life goal, and once achieved, we will finally know what TRUE happiness is.
Ha! I say. Bull. Crap.
But I'm sure it will get better. It has to. Hell... It sure can't get any WORSE!!!!
My husband is amazing though. Not many guys would stick it out, let alone het engaged and married to a woman that lives 6,000 miles away. My husband is in the Air Force. I blame his parents, really. But I can write a novel on that later.
I guess I don't really know what I want to use this blog for. Maybe I'll figure it out as I rant, rave, and write. But hopefully it will be successful. ^_^
