Now, I'm not one to buy into something like the stars defining who we are... but reading about your personality through the glass of a theory is pretty interesting.
I think we often do our best to define ourselves... whether it's through stupid quizzes, what we enjoy, or a very strange pseudoscience of reading the stars we were born under. But recently I started reading different sites about astrology, and I have to say, I'm fascinated by it.
I'm a Pisces. And my husband is a Gemini. And if you know anything about astrology, those two signs aren't usually recommended to go together. I rule by my heart, he rules by his head. He is calm and cool and collected, and if I range from furious to playful to sobbing in a day, it's been a pretty normal day for me. But I suppose that's true for most women and guys. Reading about our compatibility was a little heartbreaking, because it felt... accurate. Places it would say we disagree, we do. Things it said we'd have a hard time getting past, we have. And hurt feelings from a complete misunderstanding based on a fundamental personality point... have happened. I'm sure there's not much to these silly theories. And anytime someone says, "This is who you are", you'll try to find pieces of yourself. But at the same time, I can't shake the feeling that I might have robbed him from finding bliss with someone better suited for his calm. Because I read about what life would be like for my Gemini if he had ended up with a Sagittarius. And what's worse... is I know who his Sagittarius would have been.
She wore white to my wedding and sobbed as we said our "I do's". She was there first. She is loved by his mother. She is friendly and child-like and calm. And I'm not saying I stole him or anything like that... if he had truly wanted to be with her, he would have been. But he never was and never really wanted to be.
But with all the drama between his mother and me, I can't help but wonder if I lured him into a chaotic life... one he could have avoided if he had just... "Married the girl of his youth" as the verse his mother read at our wedding said.
His mother is quite passionate about astrology. Mostly because she likes to fit everyone into neat, definable boxes. She will hear two facts about someone, label them and stick them into their box and if they ever try to crawl out, she will be utterly lost. Her passion for it was why I looked into it in the first place. I wanted to find some common ground. I wanted to find a way to communicate with this strange creature.
She is a Leo. And again, Leos and Pisces' don't exactly get along. At all. We are both based in love, but go about it completely differently. I am fluid, sensitive, and idealistic. She is stubborn, direct to the point of insensitivity, and grounded. I am surrounded by the energy of Neptune (if you believe in that) which could be construed as deceitful and fake, and she is surrounded by the energy of bringing Neptune to it's fall (whatever that means), and therefore is on a warpath to reveal my lies. Even if I'm not lying. We will never have trust between us, not naturally anyway... Because our personalities tell us the other is hiding something, manipulating the situation, and being dishonest. It was summed up as her thinking I'm too spacey, and me feeling sorry for her.
And reading that is shocking because it's so close to how I feel whenever I'm with her.
Maybe one day I will blog about my side of the chaos between us... Really talk about the hurt that has happened... the devision that has driven me so far from wanting a relationship with this woman who gave me the man I love. But not today.
Today I wanted to say that astrology is interesting. And it makes you think.
