Disclaimer: This is the whole movie. SPOILERS AHEAD.
This movie has upset the world. Some have summed it up as exploitation of young girls and cursed Netflix as a haven for pedophiles. I read a review that argued against that. Now, I'm finally watching it myself to form my own opinions. I am watching it in french with subtitles. I haven't caught everyone's names or who everyone is to each other. This is a play by play as I watch.
So far: It's setting up the story of a young girl, Amy, growing up in a very religious family, an absent father, and a strict but loving mother who seems to be struggling with some unknown demons. She is told she must share a room with her younger brother while another room sits empty and locked.
She goes to a religious meeting and as her younger brother gets to play, she sits and listens to the leader say that hell will have more women in it than men. She steals a religious strand of beads, the Muslim version of a rosary I guess.
After mosque, she's walking through her building and sees a girl her age wearing tight pants and a crop top, happily dancing as she changes over her laundry, her hair swinging all the way down to her butt. As I watched this scene, I was struck with the contrast of a young naive protagonist wearing a head scarf, being told that women must obey men and be modest or risk hell, to this young girl-hair swinging with no fear of the threat of damnation hanging over her.
Next we see our protagonist laying in bed, telling her brother about the ghosts in the beads she stole. She tells him that the ghosts want him to go to sleep. Her brother lays down in the bed and goes to sleep. I feel that again, this is short-sighted of her mother. While Amy is still very much a child, she is moments away from blossoming into being a woman. She is at the cusp of change and it no longer seems appropriate for her to share a bed with her brother. Amy wakes up at a noise and looks out her door to see her mother, scarf-less and shirtless standing at the the open door of the empty bedroom, lost in thoughts or memories. She turns away, closes and locks the door, and walks back down the hall to her room, brushing past her daughter with a blank face as though the ghosts in her mind make her blind to her child. She is not there in the morning to help her children get ready for school.
Amy starts school, seeing the young girl with the long hair that lives in her building run past in a tight skirt and crop top. (TO BE HONEST: I would not notice this girl's clothing if I hadn't read so many FLIPPIN' headlines about how this movie is sexually exploitive!!). The principal comes out to help Amy get started at the school and the schoolyard freezes in a tableau of youth at play. The principal is oddly disturbed by this even though it just seems like an innocent flashmob. Everyone disbands at the sound of the bell and commands to get to class from the teachers, except for 4 girls, one of whom is our long-haired friend from the building Amy lives in. The principal (a woman) manhandles them and reprimands them for their clothing and Amy watches as all four girls are dragged into the building. At this moment, I am reminded that women have and probably always will be be policed for how they are dressed.
Next, we are in the bathroom with Amy and her mother. They jovially fight over the sink as they wash their hands, faces, mouths, and feet. Amy asks her mother when her father will return and we can tell the mother doesn't want to talk about it and brushes the questions off with vague answers. And then she tells Amy, "Let the water run. It washes away your sins." Amy is so young. So naive. What sins has she committed? Would she even recognize them as sins? Does she know that stealing the green beads was a sin? Or did she take them with no connection to religious morals? These are the thoughts that come through my mind.
Amy dances in front of her mother's mirror with her shirt tied in a knot revealing her stomach. She's clearly having fun, but then she hears her mother's voice and panic washes over her as she tries to untie her shirt. I don't know that she knows why she's so scared to be caught, but children are like that. They don't know why it's bad, but they know they don't want to be caught. She crawls under her mother's bed and overhears the phone conversation her mother is having. Her father has married another woman. She is moving into their home. Her mother's feet shake. She is visibly unhappy, even as she tells whoever is on the other end of the line that she is happy and that she hopes they married for love. An older woman who we saw early in the movie at the mosque, (only called Auntie) steps towards her and for a moment I think she is going to comfort her, but instead she says sternly, "Call someone else." Mother steps back and shakily says, "I can't." Auntie says, "You must. It's your duty. Be a real woman." She leaves the room and mother dials another number, sits heavily on the bed and tells another person, but must stop and cry. Tears well up and roll down Amy's face as she listens to her mother hit herself. Then back to the phone call as though nothing is wrong, blaming a poor connection for the long pause.
Amy goes shopping with her brother and the baby and sees the four girls (a clique known as the Cuties) from her school running around laughing. She follows them out of the store and sees them dancing under an overpass for trains. The dance is nothing you wouldn't see on Toddlers and Tiaras or Dance Moms or any other show that is broadcast over the United States. The girls see her peeping and throw rocks at her and hit her in the head, so she runs away.
At home she puts on her little brother's shirt that is too small, folding it up so her midriff is bare. A man moving their things in sees her and looks startled, so she covers herself with her arms and darts down the hall while her brother yells that it's his shirt and she's not allowed to wear it. She gives him the green beads she stole from the mosque to bribe him into letting her keep it. She puts another shirt on over the top and goes down to help the man unpack what her mother announces is a present from her father. As she's helping, he asks her to hand him a bag and she sees his phone sitting next to it. She quickly pockets it and then hands him the bag.
The presents are unwrapped, full of beautiful clothing. You see her face light up as she holds up a beautiful blue gown against herself. Her brother comes dancing into the room in a matching blue outfit and asks his mother if he looks nice. She says yes. He says how happy he is to wear it to his father's wedding. Amy's face instantly turns to disgust. Her mother notices and comes over to encourage her and show her how lovely it is, but her manners are forceful and the way she holds the neck of the dress looks like it's strangling Amy. Mother wanders away muttering positives as Amy drops the dress looking confused and unhappy.
Amy sees the Cuties at school, where they recognize her as the peeper, mocking and bullying her, but she stands pretty tall and doesn't give them much satisfaction. The girl with the long hair doesn't join in and half-heartedly tries to stop them. They tell her that they are going to dance in a competition and mockingly ask her if she dances. She says, "No, but I can learn." They laughingly pick on her and then leave.
At home we see the moving man setting up the new wife's bed in the empty room. Amy hears yelling out in the hall and rescues the girl with the long hair (Angelica) from an irritated young man. Angelica is carrying an armload of wet laundry, the cause of the argument. Angelica cleans Amy's wound from the rock with some kind of white powder and spit, and then she leaves. I'm realizing there is not a lot of transition between scenes in this movie. Not a lot of filler or exposition. Which I like. But describing it does feel pretty abrupt.
Amy lies in bed at night and scrolls through Angelica's instagram on the stolen phone. She gets up and takes some photos, mimicking the faces Angelica made.
At school in the bathroom, Amy overhears the Cuties talking about sex. They are very misinformed. They're trying to see what a penis looks like on one of the girls' phone but it's not a very good phone. Then they all look up and gasp as Angelica's crush walks by. They giggle and follow him until he goes into the bathroom. They then dare Amy to follow him in and try to get a photo of his you-know-what. She tries, he yells and throws his backpack at her and when she exits, the girls are gone. Angelica comes over later and is disappointed that Amy wasn't able to capture a picture.
I have to say, I am only 24 minutes into the movie. Maybe it gets worse. Maybe it gets A LOT worse. But so far... It all feels very real, very normal. Yes. Inappropriate. But these girls don't actually KNOW why its inappropriate. They are young. They are ill-informed. They feel like they cannot go to an adult to safely ask what happens between a man and a woman, but information is at their finger tips with smart phones and the internet. Curiosity is so normal in children and at that crux of child turning into adult it turns into sexual curiosity. I remember this feeling. But I also knew I could ask my mom anything and so when I heard something I didn't understand or that I had never thought of before, I could bring it to my mother and get correct, safe information without fear of condemnation. I know that not everyone is so lucky. Anyway. On with the film.
Amy bribes her brother with candy and locks him in the bathroom so she and Angelica can hang out uninterrupted. Angelica immediately goes to the new wife's room and gushes over how beautiful it is. "A room for a princess." She asks Amy who's room it is and Amy admits she doesn't know. Angelica laughs and tells her she's weird. They jump on the bed and fill their mouths with gummy bears and pretend to be chickens. Angelica asks her about her phone and Amy admits that she stole it. Angelica is impressed and shows Amy a video of a girl dance group. At the end of the dance, one of the girls accidentally reveals a breast and everyone in the video giggles. Amy says, "They have a lot of likes." *Mm-hmm. Yes. Social media, baby. Do the things to get the likes. It's a horrible message for young girls to constantly be punched in the face with at such an impressionable age where all you want is love, acceptance, and to fit in.* Amy's brother has flooded the bathroom/the whole house and the scene ends.
Amy and Angelica meet the Cuties so Amy can film them dancing. Angelica puts lipgloss on Amy and encourages her to take off her sweater and show off her crop top. The girls dance. (Pretty innocently, if I am the judge.) Amy's not great at filming it. But the girls take a picture with her, criticizing her looks and how flat her butt is. Amy takes the video home and practices their dance.
In Mosque Amy pulls her head cover over her face and watches a rather raunchy hiphop dance video of ladies twerking, bobbing her head. Later as she's sitting in her hall, she stares at a woman's butt. Its very innocent, sort of wistful like, "If I could only look like that..."
Amy is sitting at the window in her room when her Mother comes in and hands her the house phone, saying, "It's your father." Amy puts the phone to her ear, then pulls it away looking at it and then drops it out the window. Her mother rushes over looks out the window, shocked. End of scene. I'm disappointed that it ended here. What did Amy's mother do? Was she punished? Do we ever find out? (edit: nope. We do not.)
The Cuties are walking along and a group of older boys approach them to chat and ask how old they are. One (I think its Amy) accidentally says, "11" and the others say, "14" The boys laugh and say, "They're only 11. Let's go." The girls call after them asking for phone numbers, laughing and giggling, trying to get them to come back and payattention to them. But the boys leave.
The girls do each other's makeup and eat in a lightly wooded area and pretend to do a catwalk. One of them finds something she thinks is a balloon and blows it up. Three of girls scream (Amy sort of jumping back with them as they do, not really knowing why) and say, "That's a condom!!" She protests that it can't be becasue it's pink, but they insist that condoms come in all colors and that she might have cancer or AIDS. The girl looks genuinely disturbed and drops it. They insist she's going to die and to not come near them because she's covered in bacteria. She begins to cry. So they go with her to scrub her mouth and face. I remember the first time I encountered a condom. I'm not going to lie. I don't know how I knew what it was. I'm sure my mother explained it to me at some point. I was in a park for a school performance and all the girls went to the bathroom to change and it was in there. Someone had filled it with water and tied it to a flush handle. A kindergartener said, "look! A water balloon!" And I squealed (as the more mature 7th grader that I was) "Don't touch it! Everyone out!" and paraded the younger children and my 8th grader friend (who also didn't know what it was) out. I told our music teacher. I'm not sure what she did about it. But when I went in there later to giggle over it with my friend, it was gone.
The Cuties go to Angelica's house and get on her laptop. They giggle as they message Angelica's crush on the computer. It's rude-ish. But it's clear that the girls don't really know why. Its all just a game to them. Test the waters to see what will get them attention.The boy is not impressed. He calls them children and Angelica is embarrassed and hurt and throws her computer and the girls quickly disband. Oh how well I remember this feeling. Rejection.
Amy practices dancing.
Angelica and Yasmine get into a physical fight because Angelica blames her for her crushes reaction to their messages. She tells her that she's not allowed to dance with them anymore. Later, when they are alone, Amy tells Angelica that she knows the dance and will dance in Yasmine's place. Angelica tells her she doesn't know if the other girls will go for it. So Amy shows her some dance moves she's imitated from music videos. These moves are much more sexual than what the girls have been doing. Angelica is very impressed.
Amy teaches the other girls to bite their fingers and twerk and pull faces and pull their hair. They look silly and unsure, but slowly gain confidence. Not easy to watch this scene because as an adult, I know what message these movements and facial expressions send to men. THESE GIRLS DO NOT. They collapse giggling like the little kids they are after they practice their routine. When I was about... 8 or 9, I wrote a song called "Daddy, I'm hoooome." and I made up a little dance for it. It seriously just consisted of saying, "Daddy, I'm hoooome." over and over again as I moved my body around. My sister thought it was cute and video taped me and we excitedly showed our parents. I grew up without a TV. I had no internet access. I had NO idea how "provocative" my little song and dance were. Even now, thinking about how excited and clever we felt showing it to my parents, I feel embarrassed and a little bit ashamed. My mother quickly and succinctly told me never to do the dance again and told me that it was inappropriate. I think she may have even asked me where I got the idea for such an evocative song and dance. To this day, I have no idea. Seeing the Cuties mirror the behavior they see in movies, dances, in music videos, and on the internet and have some deep-seated desire to emulate that behavior... is not foreign. Its so painfully familiar. And heartbreaking. They are treading the fine line between adulthood and childhood with no guidance to pull them back into what is appropriate. And THAT is the feeling I'm coming away with from this movie. Discomfort of the familiar awkwardness of adolescence. This is not glorifying the sexuality of preteens. (Not yet anyway. I don't know how it ends).
Angelica opens up to Amy about her absent parents and how all they do is tell her she's bad. But she insists that she has the gift of dance and that one day her parents will see her dance and appreciate her for who she is. Amy admits that she wishes her father will never come home. This is so interesting to me because these are both girls who feel rejected by their fathers, desperately seeking male (really ANYONE'S) attention.
Amy gets a text telling her the audition for the dance competition is at 10. But Amy's mother comes in early in the morning. Auntie is there. They are going to teach her how to be a woman by having her cook for her father's wedding. She cuts a LOT of onions.
Okay. Another rant. I'm about halfway through the movie now and I'm mad. Mad that so many people are against this movie. Its real. Its truthful. Its awkward and hard to watch because its so familiar. Because I was an 11 year old girl who lived through this. We see sexual stuff on TV and on Social Media and in ads and in real life. 11 year olds don't understand it. But they want so badly to fit in, to be accepted. They're curious about sex and sexuality because... because we're human! Up until this point in their development everything humans do is play. Ever hear that phrase that children are scientists and playing is their science? Now, at this strange age between childhood and adulthood, the exploration into the world of sexuality is a game. Feelings get hurt. You want attention and love, but you are limited by your understanding, your age, your culture, your religion, your morals, your indoctrination, and human decency. This movie encompasses that feeling and its powerful and simple. And for some reason... a little bit taboo.
Amy rushes to get dressed and as she pulls her coat out of her closet... she sees blood pouring down the front of the blue dress she is supposed to wear for her father's wedding, puddling at the bottom of her closet. Confused and scared, she throws the door shut.
She is walking down the street with her Auntie and her brothers. She looks down and checks her phone, seeing that it's after ten! She's missing her audition! She goes sprinting off as Auntie yells after her. She finds the Cuties dancing without her and watches through a window.
She returns to be reprimanded by Auntie, but Auntie stops when she notices that Amy has a blood stain at her crotch. She tells Amy that when she first started bleeding, she was already engaged. She tells her the story of being shrouded in white and being presented to her husband's friends and family. She goes on to say that she wishes the same thing for Amy. Later in her room, her mother comes in and tells her, "You're a woman now."And leaves. Amy looks at her open closet and sees that there is no blood anymore. Then she looks down at her crotch.
At school Amy tries to explain why she missed the performance to Angelica, but the two other girls yell at her the whole time, calling her a liar. She gets more and more upset, cussing at them and begging Angelica to accept her apology. Despite her friends, Angelica believes her, but hanging out is awkward and silent and tense. They are all anxious about the results of the contest.
The girls sneak into laser tag. They play and get caught. When they try to leave, the guard stops them, asking for their parents' numbers. They accuse him of being a pedo. Another guard comes and says he's going to call the police, but as he's threatening them, Angelica gets a text telling her they're in the dance competition. They scream and jump around, celebrating. The guards think they're mocking them, but the girls explain they just got into a dance contest and he laughs, saying he doesn't believe they're dancers because they're little kids. Amy steps forward with some hip-rolling semi twerk dance move as the girls clap in rhythm. You can tell he's very thrown off by this and disturbed and tells them to get out, that he never wants to see them again. This was one of those moments protestors of the film were more disturbed by, describing it as disgusting and that he was being lewd and that Amy was enjoying his attention. Nope. I did NOT get that vibe. She was trying to prove she was a dancer, bouyed on by her friends and the excitement of getting into the competition and eager to prove herself. He was obviously NOT interested in the age of the dancer, though the type of dancing... maybe. Staring in shock it seems to me. He was eager to be rid of them. Not enticed or leering.
Here we go with another awkward dance of little girls doing things they don't understand, mimicking women, TV, social media. The camera shots seem excessive. Continuous panning over immature girls doing things I don't really want to look at. Nothing you haven't seen before, to be honest, though. Not gonna lie. Don't enjoy this. And here comes the attention they desire as hearts and likes pour in because they posted a video of their dancing on social media.
Amy is emboldened to wear way too grown up of an outfit to school, but its something we've already seen Angelica wear. Somehow its more startling to see Amy wear it as she's been the most introverted and innocent of the girls thus far. Amy gets into a fight with a member of a competing dance team (older girls who also go to their school). They pull down her pants and snap a picture of her underpants and mock her.
Having her underwear mocked drives her to steal money from her mother and as she's getting ready to leave, Amy opens the closet and looks at her dress for her father's wedding. No more blood, but it fluffs up and fills out as though a body is in it, slowly moving in and out like its breathing. Cut to a scene where the Cuties are running down the street throwing underwear sets like confetti in slow motion as her brother follows behind picking up a bra.
Mother confronts the boy about where he got it and he tells her that Amy and her friends bought it. Amy says, "Don't lie." Her mother says nothing. Picks up the bra. And exits the room. At dinner, her mother passes out as she sets the table. The brother is concerned. But Amy doesn't even move and goes back to eating as Mother wakes up.
The man who moved their things in tells her that her mother is feeling better, but resting. Amy gives no reaction. He then sees that she has his phone. He takes it from her and yells at her. She asks for it back, but he refuses. She starts to undress. He is greatly distressed by this and shoves her and says, "What the hell are you doing?" and turns to leave, so she attacks him, demanding the phone, saying she NEEDS it. She manages to get it back, hurting him in the process and runs into the bathroom. She snaps a photo of her vagina and posts it online. Then slides the phone back under the door. This. Speaks volumes to me. Desperation. Desperate for attention. Willing to do anything to be noticed, liked, talked about. To be connected. She knows the game is up when she loses the phone back to its rightful owner and throws herself all in. If a video of a dance crew flashing a boob got so much attention, a full shot of her vagina must get her loved, right? I'm gonna guess... not quite.
The next day in class a boy slaps her butt and calls her a slut for posting the photo online. So she stabs him in the hand with a pen.
Cut to her mother slapping her and berating her, taking off her shoe to beat her as she calls her a whore. She tells her that she is not her daughter anymore and that she's going to kill her. Her auntie stops the mother. The auntie then takes Amy to a cleansing ceremony where she convulses and gyrates like a dancing demon is escaping her. Twerking and vibrating she goes to the floor and then stands, breathing heavily. And slowing. She stills. What does this mean? As a movie moment it feels appropriate and artistic and strangely moving. But in real life, its distressing. That is an actual child in her actual underwear making those movements for any weirdo or pedophile to see. I don't love the shots taken here. maybe If it were a long shot, or a shadow. Some distance between you and her very intentional movements.... it would feel less disturbing I think.
She goes to her friends. Dressed in smaller clothes than ever. Her friends don't want to hang out with her anymore. She's gone too far. They ask her if she's seen the comments on her photo. She says, "Whatever. I'm a real woman. Let's all be real women." They don't want to be "real women". They don't want her to dance. She tries to force them to dance. They refuse. This is a girl trapped in a vortex. She thinks she knows what will get her liked and accepted. And she goes too far. She is desperate for the attention and love and acceptance that she almost had, or had for a moment. And it's all slipping away. They all leave and she looks panicked, lonely, desperate.
She's sitting on her couch at home, hugging a pillow. An older man comes and lays his hand on her forehead and prays deeply and intently. She looks unconvinced. Unmoved. Unimpressed. He stands and goes to her mother and tells her, "I know what you're going through in your marriage. God never gives a woman more than you can bear. If your burden is too heavy, you have every right to leave this marriage. But know this. There is no demon or evil spirit in there." He points to Amy. He starts to leave and Mother tries to hand him money but he declines. I find this moment important and powerful. She sees this elder of their church give the power back to her mother, in contrast to earlier in the film when she saw the power being taken from her mother. He is telling her that Amy is not possessed. He is giving the power back to Amy and her mother in this way too. I am realizing how many of these standards are being forced on the women in this film by other women. The leader of the mosque. The older Auntie guiding them. The principal of the school. The other girls. Everyone encouraging them to follow a precidence of standards that are very patriarchal. And here comes a patriarch telling them that they have power. In many moments of this movie, its been male characters discouraging Amy from her sexual impulses and reminding them to act their age. I find that comforting. I've been bracing myself for the moment someone takes advantage of them, and so far the worst thing that has happened was a boy Amy's age slapping her butt.
Amy sees Yasmine (remember from earlier?) dancing with the Cuties again.
Amy and Angelica sit in the laundry room of their building. Angelica admits that she wants to be friends with Amy. But not in front of her other friends. Amy asks to dance. Angelica says no. Amy grabs her in a hard hug, nails digging in. Angelica is hurt and confused and scared by this hug and shoves her away. Its a pretty powerful image of how Amy is feeling.
People are gathering for Amy's father's wedding. She looks into the hall and sees bags and her father's slippers. She walks to the new wife's room, and there she is. Shrouded in white. She takes a few steps towards Amy, and Amy runs. There's a bag tucked under the train tracks. It's Amy's dance costume. She puts it on and waits and when Yasmine is walking by, she shoves her into the river. Yasmine is not a great swimmer, so Amy waits to make sure she manages to get to a pylon without Yasmine noticing and then runs to the competition. The girls aren't happy to see her. But they figure, better her than no one.
They dance to a crowd that rapidly becomes uncomfortable with their routine, Thumbs are pointed down. Gasps. And boos sprinkle their performance. They continue dancing, obviously not understanding the reaction. A few whistles. But mostly silence. A mother covers her daughters eyes. As Amy was running from the house earlier in the movie, she knocked over a basket of gold confetti on her head. During the dance, a few of these pieces of confetti fall from her head and she stops and begins to cry. The music fades away and we hear an islamic wedding song. She runs off the stage.
Back home she bursts into the house calling for her mom. Auntie sees her and begins to berate her for her outfit. Her mother comes out of her bedroom and says, "Leave my daughter alone." Auntie tries to continue to lecture, but Mother insists, "Leave my daughter alone." Auntie leaves. Amy and her mother embrace. Amy tells her mother, "Please don't go." And her mother slowly nods but says, "Let's go." She finishes getting dressed and then tells her daughter, "You don't have to go." She leaves the room looking like a queen. A QUEEN, I tell you. Head high, in a gorgeous gold ensemble. This is such a contrast to earlier in the film where we see her mother shirtless and drained, almost out of her mind with powerlessness. Here she is. Making this choice to be stronger than what life has thrown at her.
Amy leaves the beautiful blue dress laid out on her bed, billowing in the breeze. Wearing a modest, age-appropriate outfit, she goes out to play jumprope with some guests from the wedding. The camera pans higher and higher, and with each jump her head continues to appear in the shot, even above the buildings. A huge, innocent smile spreading across her face.
And so ends this controversial movie.
As you can probably guess... I am against all the haters. While I don't enjoy some scenes, and while I don't understand all of the things the movie is trying to say, being as it is in french, addressing a muslim family's morals and standards, I can only say that it brings to light the complexity and struggles of a girl trying to figure out what it means to grow up.
