The 3,000 Dollar Purchase

Now, anyone who's entered into the holy bonds of matrimony can tell you this, but marriage is hard. And complicated. And not for the faint of heart. But money seems to make to so much more complicated.
Not every man is the same and that goes doubly for women, I would say. So I wouldn't apply this to just anyone. I can only say what happened to us.
My husband has always had two unbreakable habits when it comes to purchases. The first is If I Want Something, I Need It. And the second is Ask For Forgiveness Instead of Permission. Which makes for nearly impossible gift-giving (he already owns anything he could possibly want), and for several head-butting disagreements when he's brought home something completely undiscussed.
It must come from a different type of upbringing, since I can't seem to buy myself a set of socks without making sure it's ok with my dear bread-winner first, and he has no trouble bringing home a 3rd playstation totally on the sly. And there is a small war within myself when this happens. First is the Play-It-Cool, because I desperately want to be the cool wife that he can boast about to his buddies. Then comes the simmering rage of But-Couldn't-We-Have-Talked-About-It, where I try to be rational and feel included and he could have still ended up with it, to the ULTIMATUM- You. Owe. Me.
There is a certain amount of guilt that goes along with the lecture, because I don't work. I don't bring in any money. I don't go out and deal with people everyday. A certain part of me wants him to have everything his heart desires because he puts NO pressure on me even though I don't work. But another part of me is all, "I clean the house. I cook the meals. I take care of the pets. I AM A HUMAN PERSON WHO SHOULD GET A SAY DESPITE MY LACK OF MONEY-MAKING!"
And he always returns my vehement reprimands with the grinning chagrin of a man who knows he's done a naughty thing, and promises to think and talk about it the next time.
He's awesome like that.
But there was recently a 3,000 dollar purchase made without my knowledge. To be more accurate, it was 2,800, but lets just round up to 3, mmkay? It wasn't a complete surprise. It was an item that he had been talking about wanting since before we got married. It wasn't even that surprising that it happened when it did, I had heard tidbits of conversations, I had been let in here and there... like a nervous swimmer testing the temperature of a swimming pool. But it wasn't until a phone call with my sister-in-law, casually announcing the information that the purchase had been made... (she was completely unaware that I didn't know.), that I truly grasped that this was actually happening. Had happened.
I won't go into all the details of why this wasn't great timing for us, or why it didn't work even though we HAD the money... I won't even go into the details of why it was so upsetting that he hadn't DISCUSSED this purchase with me.
It's just one of those funny little things that you have to learn in the bonds of marriage. How to help each other. How to include each other. How to communicate.
In the end, we managed to find a solution that, while isn't going to make him happy (the only thing that would is if he got away without any consequences, but isn't that true for everything and everyone?), it's taken some of the stress out of the situation. And I feel heard and included and like he's on board to make less selfish decisions in the future. So we're learning.
Slowly... but surely... We are learning.