Peace Vs. Truth

I was reading this article that says, "Men lie to keep the peace."
I have found this to be 100% true! My husband has told me a number of little white lies (And some big ol' WHOPPERS, if I'm honest...) and every time, his reasons have been pure: "I didn't want to make you mad."
Where did this come from? This desire to not talk about things, or not deal with an honest reaction, so they cover it up with a lie? I blame myself.
And I also blame his mother.
But as a wife, I feel like it's my job to distance myself from his mother as much as I can. (At least... in all the ways I think she has let him down in...) I want talking to me to be a thing that heals all the times she made him shut up. I feel like it's easy enough on paper.
But in the heat of the moment, when you are disappointed or feeling like you SHOULD be on the same page and since he's not, he's just WRONG.
So I'm going to try to break it down into a list for myself. Some things to remember when you are dealing with a potentially dangerous situation. Because if you over react just once, that encourages lies next time. It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
1. Don't overreact. That means any reaction that is direct response to the fire that seers the side of my brain or turns my stomach. React in a way that isn't bat-poop cray cray.
2. Hear him out before I dump my feelings on him. So he would rather go watch the game at his friend's house that taking me shopping. Ok. Consider this from his perspective. He's allowing me to be crazy and he still tries to find the reasoning in it, so I have to let him have his reasons too.
3. I am allowed to compromise. Example: Ask him to watch half the game and then come home to pick me up. Or, Tell him ok this time, but ask that next time, we do something I want to do.
4. Pick your battles. Do you really care, Sarah? I mean really honestly, deep down, do you actually CARE? Or are you just trying to hold things over his head, stir up drama, or are you having a power-trip? Because sometimes... him playing video games frees you up to do whatever you want! You don't have to entertain him or talk... you can just hang out doing your own thing. And that can be pretty wonderful.
5. He'll appreciate it. And he has totally shown that. Ask him to do the dishes after he's played, gone, shopped, whatever it is he wants to do... and he will! Because he loves you and he knows you make sacrifices for you!! That is so cool.
As long as you treat what he wants to do with respect, he will ALWAYS be honest. And that is such an amazing thing for him to do. So step it up! And meet him halfway!!!