Adulting

This new "millennial" word that means "Doing the things adult people do". Driving. Working. Getting out of bed. Showering. Paying bills. Not spending all your money on fast food and makeup. The type of things we looked at our parents doing and ignored just how much effort went into those every day routines.
  I graduated 8 years ago. That didn't turn me into a grown up. I got my license and my ears pierced at 19. I was still not feeling "grown up". I have been married for almost 4 years. That didn't really turn me into a grown up. The moment I got pregnant... I felt a little older. Not grown up, exactly, but on my way. And then, in the blink of an eye, holding my baby after the most traumatic experience of my life... I was grown. I had become an adult. And unlike all my fears and worries and lazy nature had warned me... I wanted it. I wanted to be an adult person doing the adult things. Driving and working and waking up and taking care of someone else day in and day out. I wanted to know everything about this little person and be the most important. It was the most daunting idea... and the most satisfying reality. There is no way to prepare someone who doesn't understand what that feelings like. You really have to experience it.
   My life before giving birth was easy, leisurely. I enjoyed (for the most part) staying home all day, basking in my stuck-ness, my happy-to-be-lazy idleness wrapping me in a bubble of ignorance. I was so scared to lose it. Now, I wouldn't go back for all the world.
  I get up every day with my daughter, feeding her, changing her, welcoming her to the day. I take care of my dogs, my cat, my new bird. I wash laundry every Monday and Thursday (for such a tiny person, my laundry has doubled). I cook meals and prepare packed lunches for my husband. I have begun taking quiet time during her naps to focus on God and my own creativity. I have set goals, and every week I put together a To-Do list that I have consistently gotten done. Not just easy things like washing the dishes, but big jobs that I have put off for far too long, like organizing the garage, and going through my craft room.
   I owe a lot of my motivation to a book I've been following called "The Artist's Way" which is about recovering your creativity through the work of the Lord. It's been an amazing boost to my productivity. And for the past 4 weeks, I have been crawling into bed at night happy, productive, and sore. I have even begun exercising again.
  I feel like an adult. Maybe not quite like my mom yet, who is a role model of self-motivation, hard work, and keeping busy. But I am like me. As an adult. Happy, efficient, and very content in my little chores.
  I've even left the house by myself. (well, with my little Ducky-girl!) A tremendous feat for me. I was so crippled by anxiety and depression when I lived in Guam with my honey... A great deal of that fell away once we moved back to the states. (I don't know if it was knowing I could drive to see my folks, or the air, or my own bizarre brain, but I was so grateful to be released from anxiety's strangling grip.) But now I feel like I can do anything. I've even joined a MOPS group and made friends!
  Anyway. My point was... I've been adulting a lot lately. And it feels SO. Good.